Subject: That was good, here's another For all you current and ex-Michigan residents, a little home town humor......... In the tradition of Jeff Foxworthy's "You might be a Redneck" list. Here's a handy guide that can help you figure out if you or someone you know is from the state of Michigan. You might be from Michigan If you define Summer as three months of bad sledding... If your definition of a small town is one that doesn't have a lake... If your family breaks into violence during the UM-MSU game. (any sport) If snow tires came standard on all your cars.... If at least 50% of your relatives work for the auto industry... If you have ever gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week... If you can identify an Ohio accent... If owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your home town... If you learned to pilot a boat before the training wheels came off your bike... If you think Alkaline batteries were named after a Tiger outfielder... If you point at the palm of your right hand when telling people where you grew up... If you don't understand what the big deal about Chicago is... If someone asks you if you've ever been to Europe, and you answer, "No, but I've been to Ann Arbor..." If "Down South" to you means Toledo... If you have any idea who Bob Ufer was... If octupus and hockey go together as logically as hot dogs and baseball... If travelling coast to coast means going from Port Huron to Muskegon... If you refer to your relatives in southern Michigan as "Trolls" or "Lopers"... If the "Big Three" can mean either Ford, Chrysler and GM or Dominos, Little Ceaser's and Hungry Howie's... If a Big Mac is something you can drive across... If you have no problem spelling Mackinac Island... If you had to get a passport to travel to Ohio... If you have as many Canadian coins in your pocket as American coins... If you kids' baseball and softball games have ever been snowed out... If the trees in your backyard have spigots... If you know that a place called Kalamazoo actually exists... If you bake with "soda" and drink "pop"... If you know what a pastie is... If you drive 70 on the highway and always pass on the right... If your favorite hockey team's mascot is an octopus... If you have a favorite hockey team... If you don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Vernor's... If you know how to play Euchre... There is a new Michigan star on the horizon. Just as Tim Allen shook of his Michigan shackles, watch out for the Upper Peninsula's first (and only) stand up comic, Mr. Jeff Mooseworthy. His shtick is "You might be a UPer if....." Your wife's Lady Remington is a 30-06. Your snowmobile cost more than your kid's college education. Your wife's night gown says Fred Bear Archery. You have ever been romantically involved with a domesticated farm animal. A trip to the islands means Mackinac Your on a first name basis with the clerk at the Michigan unemployment office. You install your snow tires in September. You think working at Mcdonalds means making the big bucks. Your best cloths are reversible, Blaze Orange to Camoflage. Going south for the winter means Escanaba. Your think that Iron Mountain is a prime example of a big city in urban decay. You think the phrase "To open a can of worms" means we're going fishing. You thing that a Big Mac and a shake refers to the bridge on a windy day. People in Wisconsin act superior to you. Your kid ace's the 3rd grade...on his 9th try. A new car means a 1972 AMC Gremlin. Being a "Red Wing fan" means you like their new line of hiking boots. Think that 'The Ricki Lake Show" is about fishing. Answer the question "How many UP'ers does it take to change a light bulb?" with none, we don't have electricity. Consider Velcro to be high tech. You think that "The straits of Mackinac" refers to the heterosexual population on the island. You think that the Mackinac ferry refers to, well, you know. View working the drive through window as an important career advancement. Only know Ted Nugent for his archery equipment. Think the phrase "It's all down hill from here" is an advertisement for the local Ski Lodge.